Jan 30: Green-Smile

Quick post tonight – expecting company…

The boys have been in to deal with my garden. I’ve decided that the cost benefit ratio of me clearing my garden by myself is just not worth it when compared against cost of getting some pro’s in to take care of it. It’s not so much the hacky slashy, it’s not the clearance of all the crap left behind!

They done a bonza job innit;

Clipped and Cleared

One less thing to take care of…. The clearout continues….

EDIT: This entry seemed to get lost in the post (pun intended) last night?! Possible drunking mistake

Jan 29: Chart-Meister

I Introduce to you, The Chart Meister Fuhrer:

Cake: Authorised

The Chart Meister is a legend. He once created a power point chart that changed the physical dimensions of the universe. Seriously. The effigy above is a manifestation of one of his forms.

Note: He invented Tweeting. The Eagle atop his head tweets his thoughts…we just haven’t found the feed to follow yet. Apparently, he invented tweeting sometime in the 60’s but technology and the world in general wasn’t ready.

 His sword is actually a finely tuned Laser Pointer that also doubles as a pointy stick, whiteboard marker and paper guillotine.

 I am now the custodian of The Chart Meister Fuhrer effigy, and he surveys my office waiting for the year chosen one to be anointed. Once upon a time he anointed a member of Product Line Management for a frankly, astounding Power Point Chart that had animation and content that boggled the mind!

 Now that the world has caught up, the Chart Meister wishes to extend his influence into the world of Social Media. The next Festival of Exultation will include Charts, Blogs, Tweets and Web Site activities.

HAIL THE AWESOME!

Jan 28: Pun-isher

During the “Shelf Restructure” (I am seriously rock and roll at the moment) I have happened upon The Punisher.

Not the Dolph Lundgren shocker from the 80’s. Not the Thomas Jane decent effort from the 00’s…

This guy;

THE Punisher…

 The edition I am now rereading is Punisher Max;

The…uhm…beginning…

 Max is about right. This edition is not for the faint hearted. It’s what action films would be like if the gloves came off.

 It’s not just the visuals, although they are brutal, it’s the plot lines. They go places you really are not expecting. Mostly, Frank Castle takes on the Mob, Drug Dealers, Irish Gangs…then…Russia… Seriously, he takes on Russia…and mostly wins…

 There isn’t a lot of depth. There is some, but not a lot. The moral compass stops spinning around “Should I brutally shotgun this evil person in the face, or, brutally shotgun this evil person in the nuts?”… Frank is sometimes conflicted, but we can be reassured that the bad guys are bad, very bad… You’ll be voting for the latter in Franks moral conflict.

 In summary, it’s a cracker of a series, just as good second time round.

 No brain required.

 Some brain cleanser maybe, but no brain power….I wonder if I could adopt some of Franks leadership style for work…hmmmmm….

Jan 27: Super-Bowl

Nope – it’s not a euphemism for an amazing breakfast, it’s the Super Bowl on Sunday!

It’s Seahawks Vs Patriots – Dave is managing to keep a lid on his excitement, not sure how. Actually, Dave doesn’t really display excitement so it’s difficult to tell what’s going on… I’m wagering he’s worried…yep…

Beast Mode plays for Seattle;

A little stiff-arm action…

 He’s been on fire all season, and against Green Bay a couple of weeks ago – he rampaged through the second half and along with Russell Wilson, rallied the Hawks to a surprising and exhilarating come back to take the Divisional Championship, and the Hawks to the Super Bowl. Proper exciting stuff!

 Patriots trounced the Colts. They have looked scary good for pretty much every game since Week 4. Brady is in fine form, and after his 4th Super Bowl ring. And “The Hoody” (Patriots maverick Head Coach Bill Belichick) seems to have a whole bunch of bonkers tricks up his coaching…hoody…

 It’s got potential to be a classic! I want to back the Patriots….but….I also want Beast Mode to win another one…

 Ah well – I’ll be staying up late Sunday!

 As an aside, the NFL threatened to fine Lynch $500,000.00 if he didn’t turn up for Media Day.

 He turned up.

 Said he was only there to avoid a fine.

 Stayed for 5 minutes.

 Left.

Noooope!

 Legend!!!

Jan 26: Greas-y

Consumer update time!

I was donated a rather interesting object the other day. Now, I’m a supporter of Surfers Against Sewage who recently have been publishing data about FOGS – Fats Oils and Greases . Essentially, it’s a campaign for us to understand what happens to FOGs when those substances get dropped down our drains….short version: They end up clogging up waste pipes, and ultimately get flushed out into the sea…

So, I’ve been careful about chucking that kind of stuff down the sink, but it can be a bit of a faff to dispose of if not simply pouring it away… Until now!

Those considerate types at Southern Water have come up with this;

Fun-nel

 Of course, helping us to dispose of oils and wotnot will very likely help Southern Waters bottom line as they will have to clean up less of the clingingy oily crap in the water system, but hey, sometimes Capitalism does benefit general things too!

 So, you pop the cap, place the funnel over a recepticle of some sort, and pour your oil into the funnel;

It works!

 The next thing is to work out what to do with the left over cooking oil. Apparently, it can mixed with Bird Seed and turned into seed cakes….uhm…yum?! Well, for birds… I’ve been toying with the idea of a bird table, looks like I might be able to furnish said table with some home made Bird Food.

 Nice – gotta be better than it clogging up the waste network.

 Consumer Update ends 🙂

Jan 25: Cold-snap

It was nice and cold this week. I like the dry cold, frozen, icy drives to work, entertaining 🙂

An interesting feature of my car is the requirement to double-de-ice. It’s a bit like Double Denim, one is fun, two is no joke…

This was the scene after the outside scrape;

Scrapey Scrapey…

Amazing what a bit of elbow grease and an old AA card can do. But note, the windscreen and passenger windows remain obscured by ice…

 How?

 Well, this is the view from inside;

Scrapey Scrapey on the Inside!

 The hard part is disposing of the ice scrapings. The best part is listening to tunes whilst waiting for the ice to melt enough that I can scrape it into a cloth instead of spraying the inside of the car with ice-dust turning into a winter wonderland…that slowly melts into your trousers..through your trousers…

That’s one chilly exit when one arrives at work.

Lesson learned.

Jan 24: Wax-y

The clear out can now continue after fantastic support from the Carp DIY Team.

In amongst a bunch of stuff heading toward eBay is the board I learned to surf (badly) on. That’s not a reflection on the board, the board rocks, and as such, I felt it necessary to give it a fitting send off by cleaning it up to it’s proper sharp-dressed-man status.

So, here’s the canvas so to speak;

Silty waxness – hard earned grime.

 For those wondering, the board is epoxy, which in an of itself doesn’t make for any grip whatsoever for a bare foot or two jumping on it when being pushed by a wave…so, one rubs wax on it to provide traction. Mr Zogs Sex Wax usually, but sometimes, Mrs Palmers Might Mounds (for smaller, stiffer nipples…apparently) if the mood takes.

 After a while, one gets nipples of wax, thus;

Silty nipples

 Not sure why, but I wasn’t happy passing the board onto someone else in this state. It’s functionally ideal for a beginner with the wax on, but I remember the first time I applied the wax. There is something about it. For me, it puts me in the frame of mind for surfing, and the first time I did it on this board it was a bonding experience, prepping each other as it were. I really don’t want to deprive someone of that experience, and perhaps, I want the board to look as awesome as it has been as my learning stick – which is pretty awesome as it goes.

 So, point the fan heater at the board, whack on a movie for background gazing, and as the wax softens….scrape…

 You get this;

Silty scrapings

 If one wants to give it the full treatment, one would then apply a Wax Removing agent (Bottles of fairly grim smelling stuff that dissolves the remaining film of wax to leave an ‘as new’ finish.

 An ‘As New’ finish, thus;

Spanky wax-free ‘as new’ 8ft epoxy fucking legend

 I get attached to things that have brought immense pleasure and growth. I don’t mind admitting that I’m sorry to see this board go which is an odd juxtaposition; I’m not really materialistic, but I am fearfully sentimental and loyal.

 It’s right that it moves to someone who will get the same if not more than me from it, but that doesn’t stop the pang of regret at seeing it go out the door.

 Ridiculous.

 But it is what it is, I’m sad to see my board go.

 Looks good though 🙂

Jan 23: Hawk-ing

Mr Ben Mann left the office today heading toward Kenya, and the world of Africa time!

He’s a legend.

He will be badly missed.

He has passed on responsibility for “The Chart-Meister Fuhrer”.

We couldn’t let him go without a decent bit of apparel to wear in the heat and sun of the Kenyan plains…

Larry tested it out first;

Test Run Complete.

 Whilst the photo is crappy (HDR isn’t always the right option), the final model was well received;

GA V1: Chart Miester Originale – Colonial Falcon Hat to stave off snakes and rodents.

 Happy trails dude 🙂

Jan 22: Curl-ing

I saw this advert today;

I want to leave it…

 You could change one letter and a whole new demographic could turn up at this event.

 Hurl at the Clubhouse.

 That’s a different event entirely. Medical genre? Cure at the Clubhouse….no…that’s bad.

Cull a the Clubhouse….uhhhhm…

 Whichever way, the Clubhouse has clearly entered into targeting a different demographic. AND It’s also intimating that tartan is not needed for curling….well I think we all know that that is just, plain, nonsense! imagine a world where Scottish accents and tartan were not a prerequisite for curling?!! Why would you even entertain that?

 I don’t have the words.

 I don’t.

 Hurl….at the Clubhouse.

 Actually, that pause works well. I’m thinking “Trailer Voiceover Dude”…try it again…

 Hurl…..at the Clubhouse.

 Winner.

Jan 21: Pic-sure

Sometimes, a walk in the woods can reveal some interesting things.

It could be a thought you wouldn’t have had otherwise.

It could be a creature.

It could be a scent.

Or, it could be a really weird mushroom;

It’s….red?!

 Yes, the picture is a bit crowded….that’s because there’s not…

…..wait for it…..

Mush-room in it!!!

Ahhhhh ha ha ha haaaaa!

Classic!